REASONS TO STAY ALIVE

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the post that was originally going to go up in response to Matt Haig's Reasons to Stay Alive, but that I postponed as I felt last week's post was much more important. I was simply going to scrap this post altogether, but as I was developing this piece of writing, I found myself more and more inclined to share it. Because that's what the Internet is about, right? Gratuitous over-sharing and the complete abandonment of personal privacy. These are my reasons to stay alive. I hope they might be able to bring you some comfort, too. 

REASONS TO STAY ALIVE

1. My four best friends. I cannot believe that in the Earth's 4.54 billion-year history, I am lucky enough to exist at the same time as them.
2. All of my other friends and family. They remind me that there is good in the world, and I am at the heart of it.
3. Literature. Reading. Books in general. The anticipation to start a new book; the anticipation to finish it. Knowing that I haven't read all of the books I want to read yet. (Accepting that I never will.)
4. Sunsets and sunrises.
5. Save Rock and Roll by Fall Out Boy. Similarly, Queen's entire discography.
6. Star-gazing on a clear night. Seeing Orion in the sky for the first time all summer.
7. Hindsight -- I will only understand why I feel this way now if I give myself time to look back.
8. To be there for other people when they need me. To be there for my friends the way they are constantly and irrevocably there for me. 
9. twenty one pilots. 
10. Magic, the kind found in the ordinary: kind people, pretty clouds, moving books, great films, good hair days. People smiling when they see you. New friends laughing at your jokes. Hearing your favourite band on the radio. Inside jokes. The feeling of your favourite person's head on your shoulder. Road trips. Movie nights. That one lyric that understands you better than anyone else. Talking until 2am. Writing a poem you're proud of. Spending time with loved ones after a bad week. Holding hands. Singing in the shower. Telling people you love them and hearing them say it back. Remembering that you aren't worthless. 

There will be good days and there will be bad ones; there will be better days and there will be worse ones. Hold onto the good days, my dear, because the bad ones roll in like thunder and pelt like acid rain; they corrode away your skin and bones, your hopes and dreams, but they can never rust away your iron grip and steel resolve as you cling to the notion that it will eventually get better. The winds of time cannot hold their breath forever, and their exhale will blow those rain clouds away to reveal a Sun that was always shining, a Moon that was always gleaming. The stars will wink at you and tell you that they missed you, they missed your smile and your silken laugh, and it will be a good day again. Remember the stars, my friend. They'll never forget you.
       

(s.t.)